Poking fun at the press is actually a lot of fun so here goes. I found these on the Web but they were all actually printed in a newspaper somewhere, sometime.
These are actual headlines from newspapers – Funny!
| Most Earthquake Damage is Caused by Shaking | Really? |
| Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons | Hmmmm |
| State Prisons to Replace Easy-Opening Locks | Good move |
| Chick Accuses Some of Her Male Colleagues of Sexism | Her name was Laura Chick |
| Marijuana Issue Sent to a Joint Committee | Who else could handle it? |
| Diana Was Still Alive Hours Before She Died | I’d hope! |
| City Unsure Why Sewer Smells | I could probably tell them |
| Bridges Help People Cross Rivers | Someone should have thought of this sooner!=[ |
| Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police | Rarely? |
| Mayor Parris to Homeless: Go Home | Hmmmmm |
| Forecasters Call For Weather on Monday | OK |
| Amphibious Pitcher Makes Debut | Ambidextrous maybe? |
| Miracle Cure Kills Fifth Patient | Confusing |
Rio Grande Sun – Espanola, New Mexico · Thursday, October 12, 2000
| State Population to Double by 2040; Babies to Blame | What are these babies up to? |
| Breathing Oxygen Linked to Staying Alive | The Bee Gees Song? |
| Thursday is Cancelled | Good, I’ll just sleep in |
| Police Arrest Everyone on February 22nd | Hope they have a big jail |
| Safety Meeting Ends in Accident | Sounds dangerous |
| Muddy Creek Problem: It’s Too Muddy | Then it is named correctly |
| Murderer Says Detective Ruined His Reputation | Columbo? |
| Utah Poison Control Center Reminds Everyone Not to Take Poison | Good Start |
| Students Cook & Serve Grandparents | Cannibalism? |
| Alton Attorney Accidently Sues Himself | Did he win? |
| “Goat Accused of Robbery” | Put him away! |
| ‘We Hate Math,’ say 4 in 10 – A Majority of Americans | Ok |
| Man Kills Himself and Runs Away! | Wow! |
| A Nuclear Explosion Could Be a Disaster | Possibly |
| Man Arrested for Everything | Book ’em Dano |
| Rooms With Broken Air Conditioners are Hot | Weird |
The Chapel Hill News – Chapel Hill, North Carolina · Friday, July 26, 1985
The Sacramento Bee – Sacramento, California · Tuesday, June 23, 2015
The Windsor Star – Windsor, Ontario, Canada · Friday, August 21, 1998
Further Reading
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