“Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.”
-Charles M. Schulz
Charles Monroe Schulz was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, on November 26, 1922, and grew up in Saint Paul. He was a cartoonist and creator of the comic strip Peanuts. He is widely regarded as one of the most influential cartoonists in history. He has been cited by many cartoonists as a major influence, including Jim Davis, Murray Ball, Bill Watterson, Matt Groening, and Dav Pilkey.
Seems logical
Poking fun at the press is actually a lot of fun so here goes. I found these on the Web but they were all actually printed in a newspaper somewhere, sometime.
Have you got marbles in your mouth?
Mumbling may not be a serious medical condition, but it can still have serious effects. Mumbling makes it more difficult for people to interact with us socially, and it can make professional or educational experiences such as public speaking much more difficult.
Careful on the playground
A child is said to “catch” cooties through close contact with an “infected” person or from an opposite-sex child of a similar age. Of all the germs kids are exposed to on the playground, there’s one they freak out about more than any other: cooties.
I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
A joke is a display of humor in which words are used within a specific and well-defined narrative structure to make people laugh and is usually not meant to be interpreted literally. A pun, also known as paronomasia, is a form of wordplay that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect.
Are you breaking the law?
There are many weird and crazy laws out there in the world. Some are old and not maintained any longer but some are still in effect and could bite you if you were to break them in their respective countries.
“You never know what people will choose to be offended by.”
Gilbert Gottfried was born on February 28, 1955, in the Coney Island section of the Brooklyn borough of New York City. He started doing stand-up at age 15 and became known as a “comedian’s comedian”. In 1980, Gibert was hired for season 6 of Saturday Night Live. He was known for his shrilling voice, squinting eyes, crude humor, and being the hilarious voice of the Aflac Duck in commercials. After sinking dramatically with some 9/11 humor he became the “too soon” comic.
It is so cold across the states this morning I thought a little humor was in order. It was cold here in Atlanta, Georgia so I went and stood in the corner of the room, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Maybe the butler did it
My friend Emily, from Boston, Massachusetts, recently came upon a mystery involving a potato. She posted the following on Facebook …
Yesterday, while walking through the neighborhood, my friend Sarah and I noticed this potato sitting on a railing (Photo 1). Today, I walked by again and the potato has moved off of the railing and is now leaning against the house (Photo 2). I do not know the origin or purpose of this mystery potato, but I do have a ton of questions.
The earth is flat because the Bible says it is flat, regardless of what science tells us
When I realized that the United Nations has the flat earth map as their symbol I was convinced. I immediately took my globe, which I’ve had since childhood, out to the trash. I was going to take it to Goodwill but why perpetuate the lie. I had always been suspicious of the space programs, of all the nations, and realized they have just been faking everything and using Photoshop to show us silly round balls they call Earth.
